Blue

We all have moments in which we feel good and bad. My bad moments can be brief or lengthy depending on what's going on around me but also my sense of harmony. By that I mean my spiritual, psychological and psychical harmony. All are required to keep me going, but when one goes awry it's like a domino effect. I call this my blue period.

How do I explain my blue period? Not long ago, I didn't. It was something that I felt I should silently endure without fuss. I now realize that it was also my way to cover my struggles.

Blue periods to me are days I feel flat. As if the simplest thing is out of reach. Like walking through quicksand or swimming against the current. It's an 'alone' feeling. Something you can't share with friends like a good platter of food.

You can't explain something you feel so forcefully in your core. It's like drawing an abstract hoping your interpretation shines through.

Yes, I have been here before so I recognize the signs. I know forcing or degrading this period does not work, so I have started to see it as an 'evolution' period. A time in which I'm attempting to communicate with myself and I'm just finding it hard to pick up my frequency. A period in which I need to decompress and not panic.

My habitual action was to dismiss this period until it went away, but now I choose to acknowledge its existence and negotiate my escape route through open dialogue. It's not a quick fix but I believe that by just doing this I'm taking positive action in the right direction. Showing my shortcomings does not make me weak. It just enables me to grow and deal with my issues head-on.

I know I'm not alone in this kind of journey, although this blue period thrives on making you feel like you're alone.

One step at a time.

There is no right or wrong here. No good or bad days. Occasionally emotions just blend into one another. Occasionally a minor action can be the difference between up or down.

That's why I write this down. This is a small action that will inwardly assist me to move forward. One step at a time.