Balance is a wonderful thing that I have issues with.
Whether it's yoga or time management, I seem to struggle regardless how much I try.
Let's forget yoga for now. Having the flexibility of a brick would be bad enough but with balance making my crane look drunk it's a frustrating journey that I've had to put on hold for now.
Let's move to my current juggling act of time management.
Right now I am 'alight' with ideas. I'm extremely focused on them. Great right! Yes, it's great but I seem to have let everything else go out of focus.
I've ignored all other needs and let them build up. I can see this happening but refuse to change my focal point.
It's been so long since I've had this creative energy and ideas bursting all around me. I'm scared that if I look away for any length of time, my beloved creative bubble would also stray from me.
I want to stay in this cocoon where creation and creativity work together in harmony. It is a positive and intoxicating state of mind. Ideas flow unobstructed from different directions. Ideas that are followed with solutions on how to execute them. It feels like time has turned to a period in my life before responsibilities, when my thoughts were clear and embraced other ideas.
Before they started to take a back seat to life.
I know there's no balance right now. I know I'm rebelling against my mounting tasks, but my current state is also urgent. It is a reconnection with myself. It is a creative awakening from a slumber that had remained undisturbed for years, decades.
Balance will come when it needs to. This is a time for mess. A time to just be. To revel in just living in this present state of unrest without trying to control or predict it. I need to just leave myself open to go in whatever direction it wants to takes me. Take uncalculated risks. Remove the shackles of everyday life and habitual fears of letting go of the reins. I just need to be in this moment and express myself in whatever way it comes.
With time not only creativity, balance will naturally come too. Until then I choose colours. I choose abstract. I choose emotions. I choose the unknown. I believe by extension I'm choosing life.