This week has been difficult. I have found it hard to refocus and went back to my habitual 'escape' strategies.
This is something I've encountered before but it's been a while. It stealthily crept up on me. This feeling. This sluggish energy draped itself around me and rocked me to sleep. I felt so safe in this old 'limbo state of being', I didn't comprehend how effortlessly and fast I was referring back to my old bad habits.
I generally write my posts in advance and send them out at a similar time. I almost enabled my present mood to take my steps back. Excuses were made. Time wasted.
I felt I should write something worth writing or nothing at all. Then it hit me.
Sometimes you just need to write. Sometimes the routine itself redeems you.
It is a journey, not a race. I'll have good and bad days... or weeks. It is crucial to be kind and not crush myself due to days like these.
This in itself is more than I planned to write this morning. In the end, it is called 'floating thoughts' for that. To put my words together and grow through trial and error.
As long as I push forward I have not missed my deadline.
It is now 10:35 pm here in the UK. It is still Tuesday. I had a wonderful day outdoors. I am healthy. I wrote my post and published it.
Time 'blip' is not significant.
It is valuable to fulfil the task set. Big or small. Once done, I can unwind remembering that just this morning, I intended to excuse myself like old times. Tonight I actively changed my thoughts and habits.