I wonder how life was when it wasn't.
When it wasn't complicated.
When it wasn't hard.
When it wasn't monotonous.
I try and picture fragments of a past long gone. Like grasping out of reach, hands forever near and far.
I focus on this. Thought on a constant loop when feeling blue.
Eyes possibly glazed and a gone look present in my absent mind.
I suddenly awaken. Almost jolted by a different thought that brings with it a soft caress and a smile.
Life was not different.
How I see it, how I live it and how I embrace it make the difference.
I think back at how at times I had the same blinded thoughts I'm having now.
A vicious cycle.
I catch myself using the past tense and correct this with the present immediately.
I am still here.
I tend to forget to live in the present at times. Such a dangerous and sad thing to forget.
Constantly remembering a glossier version of my past and worrying about a future that's abstract and beyond my control.
I just need a reminder at times to embrace myself. Embrace the present. Treat it gently, as I should treat myself.
Doing so will lead me to embrace life and the days to come will be even more special. They'll be full of possibilities and future adventures.
What matters most though are the possibilities and opportunities that are happening right now, undetected. I need to look around and see what surrounds me. I need to appreciate the here and now.
Photo by Hadinet Tekie