Watching a documentary I couldn't help but wonder what would I do or how I would feel to wake up one day not knowing who I was.
I truly wondered the importance of memories. Good and bad. Those past experiences that we have and try to learn from.
How we say "don't leave in the past, look to the future and live in the present".
What do you do if your past is written off making your present a blank canvas? How do you know where you should head? Or you were? Or more important, who you are now.
Memories are necessary for so much more than I originally took notice of. They shape you.
What if those memories are all bad?
Would you still want them to shape you?
What if the more you learn about your past, the less you want to know? Would you stop in your discovery journey?
Would your curiosity push you forward? Knowing that whatever you'll find will change your blank peaceful reality?
Would you rather close that can of worms? Or head forward towards certain pain and mental scarring?
Memories have the power to lift, hurt and even kill someone. Like malevolent ghosts that linger.
In the documentary I could feel the darkness and the utter loss from the start. Before you even started to retrace and delve into the murky past.
If you had the power to rewrite your loved ones odious history? Would you? If you could remold someone through 'fixing' the wrongs and just leaving the rights? Would you do it?
"He had total blind faith in everything I told him."
Eventually a small lie that turns into years of lying may catch up with you. What then? When you've built this 'world', how do you keep it going? How do you remember your lies? So that your loved one forgets their torturous past?
How do you stop? How do you admit that their whole 'perfect' life is a lie? What does the guilt do to you? What do you choose?
Is lying always wrong? When do greys take over? So many questions crop up and no answers.
Photo by Hadinet Tekie