Running Still

Sometimes I get this unnerving desire to run.

Run in any direction.

Somewhere disconnected yet connected.

Too abstract of a thought to act on but still there. Lingering on the edge of life.

My passport is a treasured possession. My eyes subconsciously stray in its direction. A soft comfort that it is there.

This feeling is not urgent enough. It's a whisper. A caress.

It does not jolt me awake. Eyes wide open. Clenched jaw. Fist shaped hands.

There are no sleepless nights. Tossed in a twisted dream and even more twisted bed sheets.

It is a reminder I need to remind myself.

It is a reminder that I can if I want. If I need to, I can.

Many do not have access to this. It is also a reminder of that.

That no matter how much I want to run, others are rooted. I can.

This mixed feeling always leaves me confused.

So I stay.