Dante's Vaccine

I was planning to write all that I had documented while I was at the peak of vaccine fever, but I quickly realized that it would turn into a mini-book if I copied everything I had put down during my delirious state. So I'll just describe the lovely night I passed with Miss. Corona's close antisocial cousin, Miss. Vac Cine.

Before I begin please keep in mind that these words contain my personal opinion and experiences. We all have different bodies, thoughts and reactions so take this as a bedtime story.

I had quite an arrogant outlook when I first got vaccinated. I was under the impression that I possessed a high threshold to pain and discomfort and as such, I would be ok, unlike others.

My first sign wasn't a fever. A couple of hours after taking it I started to feel chilly. I wondered whether that was all in my head as I was expecting to get sick or whether they were actual chills. So my first symptom turned out to be paranoia. Lovely. Those chills that would stroke me out of the blue finally gave me the idea that a nap would help everything. When I would wake up I was sure to feel refreshed. That was the plan.

I woke up lethargic and even chillier. Delightful. It was like the AC had been turned on all night and my whole body had lovingly embraced it all. I started to suspect that this was not all in my head after all. I was still optimistic however as the chills were manageable. I thought, if this was the worst then I'd be fine. I had no idea that this would be just the beginning.

I wasn't hungry so I decided to just have a glass of milk in the evening while I watched an episode of Criminal Minds. I figured this was just for entertainment value but in hindsight, I think it was to ignore the growing feverish sensations that had started to come in waves. Each passing hour made sure that the waves were that little bit more intense and lasted that little bit longer.

When I couldn't ignore it anymore I thought a bath would help. It did help until I stepped out of its warmth and suddenly I was freezing.

Things steadily got worse from this point. rather than writing down every feverish step of my 'hot' night in, I think it's best to provide the highlights instead.

Chills turned into a dance between stepping into an inferno where my body was covered by fire or dipping in a frozen arctic lake. Do you know that saying "when hell freezes over"? It felt like I had stepped into hell, and just when I thought I had escaped, I then found out I had instead stepped into the frozen version of it.

My imagination went on a journey during this period too. I imagined that this would be a fantastic scene in an episode of the Walking Dead. I would make a great extra lying here in this bed. Feverish and shaking. Sometimes in a fetal position to try and hug any warmth I had left closer to me and at other times opening the window, feeling stifled by how hot my room was. It felt like my body was on fire. Wonderful.

My night consisted of snippets from various TV shows and movies. A little of the Exorcist said hello to the Walking Dead.

It ended up being a sleepless night in which I marvelled at how I made this decision. I chose to inject poison into my body and feel like this. At that moment I could only see all the reasons why that had been the wrong decision. My absolute worse one. Sweaty hands down! I was cursing myself for not saying no and wondered why I thought this would be my only alternative.

My thoughts of course changed soon after my fever broke.

Now, fever-free and hoping this will take me closer to a time that we all took for granted but are now longing for. Some things will change which is normal, but hoping the basic interactions we used to have with each other will return soon. I miss expressing myself through touch.

In the meantime, I at least have my beloved words to express my feelings in some way. There are always blessings.

I just realized there's a round two with Miss. Vac Cine. I'll be ready for you with my zombie friends and Regan!