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I can't help but wonder.

Whether it is all in my head. Is it a passing fancy or something deeper. Was it always there? Deep down in me. Between the lines.

Is fear stopping me? Has it always? Did I cover it and bury it under excuses?

Deep down a question always lingers but like an ostrich I bury it back down. Into safety.

Too precious to chance it. To gamble on a 'maybe'.

Every once in a while it will peek out again and bring those fleeting thoughts out. I scoop them up and return them to their hidden place. I do this quickly. I rush to do this.

My actions can be unpredictable and emotions may leak otherwise. Providing more questions than answers.

Answers are abstract and leave me confused. Feeling bare. Transparent.

My armour is humor. I use it well. Once again I'm in control of me and my wandering emotions. I lay them to sleep. Stroking them to silence.

Photo by Hadinet Tekie

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